my world

My friends can irritate me, my hubby can make me flat mad, but when you mess with my kids, I’m ready to fight. All rational thoughts, maturity and actions disappear and I have a one track mind. I like to think of it as a fierce sense of protection for my kids, but it might just be plain, all out, revenge. Today hubby and I had a talk with Little Man about getting out and playing with the neighborhood kids. It was a beautiful day, kids were playing all around, and our Little Man was in his room by himself playing video games. He did as he was asked and played with a couple of girls across the street until they went in for dinner. He then went to play with a couple of boys up the street. One of the boys was a total jerk and clearly made it known that Little Man was not welcomed to join them. And evidently this wasn’t the first time, this kid has been a jerk to my son. The thought of anyone mistreating either one of my kids makes me crazy. I seriously want to march over to that kid’s hous...

One minute I’m relaxing by the pool dreaming of the summer to come, the next staring at a big pee puddle in my hallway. There were little pee footprints running to and from, in every direction. I’m not kidding, there was pee down the hallway, pee in the bathroom, and pee all in the laundry room. Baby Girl comes to me with pee running down her legs, starting to cry, and you ask , what did I do? I wish I could say that I was a good parent, showing awesome patience and understanding. But that’s not the case. Cleaning floors was the last thing I wanted to do. I jumped on her to the point that she was red face and full of tears. I heard myself say things like “There’s no excuse! blah, blah, blah . . .Next time, stop playing and get to the bathroom . . . yada , yada , yada .” I had a lot of time to think while cleaning floors. And concluded, I really messed up. (and then some) Last week, when Great Grandma had her poop incident, I pulled it off better than with Baby Girl tonight. And the sa...

Below is an email I received from my pastor. I've referred to him in a previous blog as "former pastor" but Webster say's (I looked it up) that a pastor is a spiritual overseer. It didn't mention a geography requirement. He's still that and much more to me no matter what citiy we reside. ( Me ) Wow, what an incredible story. Who could have ever seen that coming? God is really amazing, not so much on our time but always in time. My understanding, patience, and faith was not at it's best this week. I guess I have some work to do. Love you and thanks for the encouraging story! (Pastor) Please read this, because it is not secret what God can do. ( Story) I wanted to give you all the praise report from !@#$ . This was the young lady who was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer and was asked to come to the Good Friday service where Evangelist/Prophet !@@#could pray for her. She told me yesterday during service that she was scheduled for surgery this morning. I spo...

I think I held my breath for 9 days straight. The doctor called this evening and the news is good. She has cancer but the MRI shows that it’s not in the tissue (like he thought) or spread to other organs. He says that besides not finding cancer at all, it’s the best news you can get. In his words, “It’s Very Treatable!” Thank God! He didn’t say what the treatment would be, I guess he’s leaving that to the oncologist. But whatever it is, in so many words, he said she’s going to be okay. Again, Thank God! The thoughts, emotions, and overall sense of helplessness I have felt over the past week and a half coupled with the loving support of my friends and family will I’m sure make their way into my blog. But for now I’m going to sleep knowing that my Mom is going to be just fine. I can’t even begin to tell you how good that feels.

Today, at church, the message was on Love. It was really good and timely, I might add. The greatest of all His commandments, if you want to be most like Him, is to love one another. It sounds so simple but is as he said, the most difficult. He mentioned those that make it look easy, even effortless. Several of my friends and family came to mind. I’m so glad they were there for me this week. During service, I also started thinking about how I measure up with this commandment and concluded I show a great deal of love, probably better than most. All in all, I was feeling pretty good about myself. As I was leaving church, the kids wanted some of their friends to come home with us to play. Feeling up to the challenge, I said okay. 5 kids, my husband, and another couple head to El Chico for lunch. The kids sat at one table, the adults at another. We had a great lunch. The kids had kid’s conversation at their table, we had adult conversation at our table. It was great and just another example...

The other night the kids jumped in my bed doing their best to stall bedtime. As Baby Girl snuggled up close, Little Man said, "Hey Mom, Did you know Uncle Jay's farts smell like oranges?" Thinking I totally missed something, I blurted out, "What?" He replied, " Yea, it's true, he told me so. His farts smell like oranges." I had to call my brother on that one. We could all use a good laugh!

It’s raining outside as I stir macaroni and flip grilled cheese sandwiches. My mind is at a tug of war going back and forth, whether to blog or not. I guess I will. After all, this is my world. . . the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly. Mom, I don’t know if I can put into words my desire, my need to be a source of strength and comfort for you. Please let me be there for you. You know me, I'm strong like you, I can take it. We’ve said we’ll be honest with each other and leave nothing unsaid. . . and so, here it goes. Monday just before lunch, I picked up the phone and called Mom. That morning she went for a colonoscopy so I was locked and loaded with 101 jokes about the test when she said, “they found a tumor, it’s cancer. . . they’re talking radiation and chemo.” My world stopped. You know, I didn’t even realize it was moving until it stopped. Everything in my life (my husband, kids, job, reports, upcoming trips, summer, dinner on Friday night), Everything faded out and Cancer ...

The other day I was driving home from St. Louis. I couldn't get home fast enough. If my eyes weren't slapping shut the night before, I would have made it home then. I was probably 70 miles from the house, flipping radio stations, trying to find music to pass the time, when Ricky Scaggs caught my attention. There's very few bluegrass artists that I dig, but Ricky, Allison Krauss , and Emmylou Harris are the exceptions. The song was called The Halfway Home Cafe. It was a song about a prisoner who finally did his time, a strayed man leaving his mistress, and the third verse about a runaway with her father. They all were finally going home. I can't remember exactly how the chorus went, but the gist of it was they're heading home, can't believe they're still loved after all the bad seeds they had sown. They're going home. Recently, two students from a school where we tutor had ended their life. Both were 8 th graders, 13 and 14 years old. Basically, a boy...

It's just not what I thought. In a hotel room by myself again tonight. I miss my husband. I miss my kids. I miss my bed. I'm ready for the traveling to end and the summer to begin.

I've actually been working on a blog on and off over the last week. It was all quite depressing. Mainly about the destruction of the ice storm, the stress of work, my marriage, the holidays. . . in general my life right now. And I was really going to pour it on in the blog as pathetic as possible. If you've talked to me over the past few weeks, you probably got an earful of all the above and more. After hearing a CD of Ruby last September, I vowed that if given the chance to meet and/or hear Ruby in person, I'd jump on it. Well tonight was that night, and what a night it was. She kicked off revival with a word titled "God's Provision" that was tailor-made for me. Her first point made was "Watch who feeds into your soul." Instead of thinking of those negatively feeding my soul, I thought of those I'm pouring negativity out on. I'm not sure if I showed up to the service expecting to hear from God but from her first point God was direc...

WORK!!! That's about all I'm doing now a'days . Oh, and driving around 1000 miles a week, and no I'm not exaggerating . Yes, I brought this on myself. This past summer, expanding our little business sounded much more exciting than it feels right now. Isn't that always the case? Anyway, so far so good, for the most part. Sometimes I feel all eyes on me watching to see if I'm gonna actually pull it off or land flat on my face. My good friend, since 3rd grade, said I'm just to stubborn for defeat. She's probably right. Last night, Little Girl asked if she could watch the movie, Shrek the Turd (Third). She had all of us rolling out of our chairs. Paw Paw turned 61 yesterday. I called mom and asked what we should get for his Birthday. She said flannel shorts. I said you mean Underwear! Are you kidding me? Hubby ran with the suggestion and frequented one of those "adult stores" picking up a leopard print thong. The only thing bett...

Okay, if I was on the ball, I would have watched the forecast last night and picked out picture appropriate clothes. My philosophy, why do now, when you can put off until tomorrow. So this morning after much thought, I finally pick an outfit for Baby Girl and race to brother's room, tell him "Up and Adam" and without as much thought find an outfit for him. (Boys are easier) Head back for the kitchen, grab two bowls of cereal, and as an afterthought, turn on the tube to check out the forecast. My kids are dressed for mid-80's, that's what it's been for the last few weeks. Everyone has pretty much given up on Fall. Wouldn't ya know it, Fall arrives today. The kids are fighting their usual morning fight of who's looking at who as I head back for their bedrooms to painfully try to find another outfit. After deciding on outfits Number 2, I run back to the kitchen as they are finishing up, point them in the direction of their rooms to change, and start mak...

Today, I took Little Man to lunch. In the car on the way to grab pizza, he says, "Mom, I can stick my tongue up my nose. . . well almost. . . want to see?" (so gross) Tonight, I told Baby Girl to go get ready for a bath. As I opened the bathroom door, I find her standing in front of the mirror totally naked, beating on her chest, doing a pretty convincing impression of Tarzan. Do your kids do this?

Friday, I picked the kids up from school early for our hometown's homecoming parade. As we loaded in the car to race off for the parade (as usual, I was running late), Brother said, "Mom, a friend from my class was sent home today. He's really sick! He has a temperature of 130. He's probably got DeMonia (Pneumonia). " sounds pretty bad, huh. . . Earlier this week, we were eating dinner when he looked up, smiled, and said to me . . . "Good cookin , good lookin " When he's not driving me crazy, he's cracking me up.

Nothing significant has happened. Not any cute funny stories I can tell about the kids. I'm just in a blah mood and thought maybe blogging it out might help . . . The business is going well, I guess. Our new year recently started and I can't help but worry.Will they like me this year, will they choose me? The past four years, they've liked me. The past two years with our own company, they've chose me. But you can't help but wonder what tomorrow will bring. We've expanded out of state, trying to duplicate there what we've accomplished here. I've been on the road quite a bit over the past month, summer already seems like a far away memory. I know that I should do all I can do, run as hard and as fast as possible and then at the end of the day leave the rest in God's hands. I'm working on that part. I have two healthy, happy, beautiful kids. Little Man is finding his groove, back in the swing of school. Last week, he brought home a 110% on his Spell...

Last night, hubby and I and his mom and dad were on the patio enjoying each other and the evening. Little Man barged through the back door yelling, "Sister said a cuss word!" She slowly peeked her head out the door. I called her over by me and asked, "What happened?" All teary eyed, sweet and innocent she asked, "Am I in trouble?" I told her just to tell us the story. She started by explaining they were play fighting as she lifted her Pirates of the Caribbean Sword. After a long period, she proceeded. . . "And I said to brother" . . . . more silence . . . "I'm gonna kick your ass!" Okay, it was our turn to take that long pause and try to hide smiles and suffocate any laughter. As we let it soak in that our 4 year old just said she's gonna kick @#$! Gathering composure, hubby and I asked her where she heard it. She couldn't remember. We continued explaining, something to the effect of, there's words you'll...

Don't you hate it when a significant moment passes you by where you could have, but you didn't. I had one of those last night. I seem to be better on the afterthought, rather than on the spot. I was visiting my former pastor last night and attended one of his bible studies. It was a great message on being a witness and at the end he opened it up to questions. The questions evolved around how to approach people and such. One of the "set-up" questions was how do you witness to someone of a different race. I happened to be the only one of different race in the building so he brought the microphone to me to answer. My answer was simply something to the tune of there's no difference, people are just people. You witness to them the same. True enough, but there definitely was no depth behind my answer. Looking back, I should have given this answer, my testimony if you will. When I was 18 years old, lost in Jackson trying to find a Carmen concert, I ran across ...

I cleaned out my desk in attempts to prepare for the new, get rid of the old, when I came across this blog. I must have scribbled it on a notepad last November but never typed it into my blog. It's not every day that you feel like a Supermom so for the moments you pull it off, it must be remembered! I haven't felt great all day long, in fact I feel pretty lousy. While fighting a miserable cold, I've somehow made it to the end of this day. (not accomplishing much) I run to Walmart and pick up a rotisserie chicken.... mmmmm ..... call hubby to make sure we don't need anything else, pick up a coloring book for Baby Girl, the ET movie for Little Man, and drive home to officially call it a day. Daddy and Little Man race out the door for Cub Scouts, dinner has to wait. Baby Girl and I cuddle on the couch and watch TV. The boys make it home about the time I slap dinner on the table. Everyone's happily eating and discussing the events of the day. In the middle ...

Aren't homemade cards the best? The kids made two of the sweetest. They'd give Hallmark a run for their money. To Mom From Little Man Mom is like a rose. You look Buteful . You are The Best Mom. and I love you. and now I'm selabrating your Brthday To Mom From Baby Girl with help from Little Man I love mom. your as Buteful as a rose. your eyes are Buteful Happy Brthday !

I've had so many bloggable moments in the past week, but who has the time? With or Without time, I've got to feed my addiction. I'll try to be brief.... Earlier this week I was out of town on business. I desperately wanted to drive home but even a cup from Starbucks was not helping. You know, mind willing but eyes slapping shut. I pulled over at a recognizable hotel and went to check in. No Vacancy. Okay, don't panic, there were at least a half a dozen runner's up off this exit alone. I asked the clerk which she would recommend and she informed me that the rest were also sold out. Are you kidding me? It's not a holiday or even a weekend. She gave me the name of another hotel to try a little further up the road. It's funny, I was pretty tired when I decided to stop, but let someone tell you no room available and then you become like the walking dead. I found the other hotel, and wearily walked into the lobby. I, nervously, asked the clerk for a room. He had...