Mom, A Cancer Survivor
This is the end of the second week of treatment. It feels like months have gone by. I'm reading books I found in the library to try and better understand and maybe even predict symptoms around the bend. It's like there are a couple of manageable days and you start believing that she's getting better and then the bottom drops out, catching you by surprise and deflating hope.
Last Friday, she was unhooked from the chemo feeding into her pic line. Neither one of us liked the nurse that day and hope we don't get her again., but were still in high spirits about surviving the first round of chemo. Anyway, they checked her temp and she had a low-grade fever. Her throat hurt some so they checked and found it red and irritated. So, instead of going back to work, we headed for the pharmacy to get prescription mouthwash for her throat and a digital thermometer. I regularly checked her temp that evening which spiked at 100.1. The docs say to call immediately if a fever reaches 100.9 or above.
Saturday, she didn't run a fever and felt a little better. She wanted to get her nails repainted and so we went to the nail salon but we immediately had to leave b/c she couldn't take the smell. We went to Walmart and picked out some nail polish to paint at home.
Sunday, she felt pretty good. She talked Dad into taking her shopping at the local plant farm. She planted flowers before coming inside totally exhausted but happy to have spent the day out of the bed doing something she enjoys. Things are looking up!
Monday, her throat is some worse but made it to radiation and crashed by late afternoon. I brought over some chicken and creamy rice. She said that bland, soft food is best. It tastes better and is easier to swallow with her sore throat.
Tuesday, she still has the sore throat. She goes to work and radiation. Radiation is suppose to take just a few minutes but today one of the machines was down and she had to wait over an 1 1/2 hours to take her turn on the radiation machine. While in the waiting room, the patient with breast cancer who has been on chemo for 9 months, told mom that drinking a mixture of Mylanta and Benedryl helped when she had mouth sores. Mom tried it but didn't have the same results. By the time she made it home, she was ready to pass out.
Wednesday, mom goes to work and I head to St. Louis with hubby to turn in final reports and pick up tutoring stuff. Mom goes to radiation and the machine is still down. The technician had mercy on Mom and took her back for treatment in front of others. She also met with the doctor, not her regular radiation doctor but a fill in. She lets the doctor know that she is starting to have burning when she pees, which is a side effect of radiation (besides fatigue one of the first effects she has experienced) The doctor told her to drink cranberry juice. By now her throat is much worse and it has spread to the roof of her mouth. The doctor assures her that cranberry juice would not hurt her mouth. Either the doc didn't know what she was talking about or she flat out lied, the juice burned like fire and about locked up her jaw. Mom is drinking Orajel for pain relief.
Thursday was bad, very bad, extremely bad and she faced it alone. Hubby and I are still in St. Louis and Dad is in Dallas. She wakes up with mouth sores inside her cheeks, covering the roof of her mouth, and all down her throat. Feeling terrible, she somehow makes it to work and radiation. She goes to the chemo place that afternoon to get her pic line flushed. They have to clear the lines and change the dressing each week to keep from infection. The nurse noticed how bad mom felt and asked what was wrong? She showed her the mouth sores and basically lost it in the middle of the treatment room. The nurse immediately went to get Mom's nurse who did some blood work. Mom's white blood cell count last Friday was 6. something. On Thursday, it was 0.8. (Welcome to Nadir) Nadir is 11 to 14 days after you receive chemo when the blood count bottoms out. However, 0.8 was too low. The nurse said that explains why she felt so bad. The mouth sores are a typical side effect of the type of chemo she's getting however the nurse thought Mom might also have thrush in her mouth. So, it's back to the pharmacy to pick up antibiotics, mouth wash to clean and numb her mouth, and a gallon of hydrocodeine for pain. By the time I make it back from St. Louis and to her house, she's in bed totally hurting and miserable. It was nothing less than heartbreaking to see her in so much pain. She couldn't drink, eat, and barely talk. It just hurt too bad. It hurt to cry but that she couldn't hold back. Dad made it back from Dallas around 7:30. This was definitely the worse day so far.
Friday, she felt so bad and asked if I thought she should go to radiation. Her radiologist doctor said not to miss sessions, no matter how bad she felt so we went. We sat with the soccer mom in the waiting room. Her dad and husband were with her. She has had some rough days this past week as well. Talking to us, she tried to convince herself that the cancer, the chemo, the radiation and all that goes with it, would not stop her. She almost seemed angry like cancer has stole her life and she was demanding it back. I really hope she wins that fight. I took mom home after radiation and went to the grocery store to try and find something for mom to eat and drink. Everything tastes like salt from food to water. Grandma met me at the store to comb through the aisles. We picked up Ensure, Jello, Crystal Light packets, oatmeal, and eggs to name a few. As I was standing in line to check out, I saw watermelon and ran back for one. The watermelon was a hit. She didn't eat at all Thursday, but ate watermelon Friday and Saturday.
Sunday, her mouth sores are much better. But now, new sores have shown up down low because of the radiation. I called the doctor who said that it's a normal side effect from the radiation and some things to help lower risk of infection and relieve some of the discomfort. I asked how long before the sores heal, she said they would be on-going throughout radiation (that's another 4 weeks at least) and would go away a week or so after radiation is over. On the up side, Mom and Dad came over this afternoon to hang out and eat hot dogs. As mom was coming down the driveway I noticed she's doing the chemo walk. Other patients walk like that and we wondered if she would look like them too. Mom says those patients look like zombies. I teased mom some about her new walk. She ate a hot dog and even hung out for a little while although she looked exhausted.
In the books I'm reading, it says that from the time a patient is diagnosed with cancer, they are a cancer survivor. I'm not sure I saw Mom as a cancer survivor before treatment began, but now I see her as a Cancer Survivor. Every day especially the bad ones, she is surviving cancer. There are moments of total misery, anguish and pain but she survives. I'm not sitting in her cheering section because believe me, there's nothing to cheer about. I'm just trying to be the shoulder to cry on, the arm to lean on, and in all ways possible, to be there.
Today at church, I broke down. It can happen anywhere and once it starts, it's really hard to stop. Little Man and I drove home as I cried. I looked over at him and apologized for the crying and he said, "That's okay, Crying gets all the sadness out." Isn't he something?
Last Friday, she was unhooked from the chemo feeding into her pic line. Neither one of us liked the nurse that day and hope we don't get her again., but were still in high spirits about surviving the first round of chemo. Anyway, they checked her temp and she had a low-grade fever. Her throat hurt some so they checked and found it red and irritated. So, instead of going back to work, we headed for the pharmacy to get prescription mouthwash for her throat and a digital thermometer. I regularly checked her temp that evening which spiked at 100.1. The docs say to call immediately if a fever reaches 100.9 or above.
Saturday, she didn't run a fever and felt a little better. She wanted to get her nails repainted and so we went to the nail salon but we immediately had to leave b/c she couldn't take the smell. We went to Walmart and picked out some nail polish to paint at home.
Sunday, she felt pretty good. She talked Dad into taking her shopping at the local plant farm. She planted flowers before coming inside totally exhausted but happy to have spent the day out of the bed doing something she enjoys. Things are looking up!
Monday, her throat is some worse but made it to radiation and crashed by late afternoon. I brought over some chicken and creamy rice. She said that bland, soft food is best. It tastes better and is easier to swallow with her sore throat.
Tuesday, she still has the sore throat. She goes to work and radiation. Radiation is suppose to take just a few minutes but today one of the machines was down and she had to wait over an 1 1/2 hours to take her turn on the radiation machine. While in the waiting room, the patient with breast cancer who has been on chemo for 9 months, told mom that drinking a mixture of Mylanta and Benedryl helped when she had mouth sores. Mom tried it but didn't have the same results. By the time she made it home, she was ready to pass out.
Wednesday, mom goes to work and I head to St. Louis with hubby to turn in final reports and pick up tutoring stuff. Mom goes to radiation and the machine is still down. The technician had mercy on Mom and took her back for treatment in front of others. She also met with the doctor, not her regular radiation doctor but a fill in. She lets the doctor know that she is starting to have burning when she pees, which is a side effect of radiation (besides fatigue one of the first effects she has experienced) The doctor told her to drink cranberry juice. By now her throat is much worse and it has spread to the roof of her mouth. The doctor assures her that cranberry juice would not hurt her mouth. Either the doc didn't know what she was talking about or she flat out lied, the juice burned like fire and about locked up her jaw. Mom is drinking Orajel for pain relief.
Thursday was bad, very bad, extremely bad and she faced it alone. Hubby and I are still in St. Louis and Dad is in Dallas. She wakes up with mouth sores inside her cheeks, covering the roof of her mouth, and all down her throat. Feeling terrible, she somehow makes it to work and radiation. She goes to the chemo place that afternoon to get her pic line flushed. They have to clear the lines and change the dressing each week to keep from infection. The nurse noticed how bad mom felt and asked what was wrong? She showed her the mouth sores and basically lost it in the middle of the treatment room. The nurse immediately went to get Mom's nurse who did some blood work. Mom's white blood cell count last Friday was 6. something. On Thursday, it was 0.8. (Welcome to Nadir) Nadir is 11 to 14 days after you receive chemo when the blood count bottoms out. However, 0.8 was too low. The nurse said that explains why she felt so bad. The mouth sores are a typical side effect of the type of chemo she's getting however the nurse thought Mom might also have thrush in her mouth. So, it's back to the pharmacy to pick up antibiotics, mouth wash to clean and numb her mouth, and a gallon of hydrocodeine for pain. By the time I make it back from St. Louis and to her house, she's in bed totally hurting and miserable. It was nothing less than heartbreaking to see her in so much pain. She couldn't drink, eat, and barely talk. It just hurt too bad. It hurt to cry but that she couldn't hold back. Dad made it back from Dallas around 7:30. This was definitely the worse day so far.
Friday, she felt so bad and asked if I thought she should go to radiation. Her radiologist doctor said not to miss sessions, no matter how bad she felt so we went. We sat with the soccer mom in the waiting room. Her dad and husband were with her. She has had some rough days this past week as well. Talking to us, she tried to convince herself that the cancer, the chemo, the radiation and all that goes with it, would not stop her. She almost seemed angry like cancer has stole her life and she was demanding it back. I really hope she wins that fight. I took mom home after radiation and went to the grocery store to try and find something for mom to eat and drink. Everything tastes like salt from food to water. Grandma met me at the store to comb through the aisles. We picked up Ensure, Jello, Crystal Light packets, oatmeal, and eggs to name a few. As I was standing in line to check out, I saw watermelon and ran back for one. The watermelon was a hit. She didn't eat at all Thursday, but ate watermelon Friday and Saturday.
Sunday, her mouth sores are much better. But now, new sores have shown up down low because of the radiation. I called the doctor who said that it's a normal side effect from the radiation and some things to help lower risk of infection and relieve some of the discomfort. I asked how long before the sores heal, she said they would be on-going throughout radiation (that's another 4 weeks at least) and would go away a week or so after radiation is over. On the up side, Mom and Dad came over this afternoon to hang out and eat hot dogs. As mom was coming down the driveway I noticed she's doing the chemo walk. Other patients walk like that and we wondered if she would look like them too. Mom says those patients look like zombies. I teased mom some about her new walk. She ate a hot dog and even hung out for a little while although she looked exhausted.
In the books I'm reading, it says that from the time a patient is diagnosed with cancer, they are a cancer survivor. I'm not sure I saw Mom as a cancer survivor before treatment began, but now I see her as a Cancer Survivor. Every day especially the bad ones, she is surviving cancer. There are moments of total misery, anguish and pain but she survives. I'm not sitting in her cheering section because believe me, there's nothing to cheer about. I'm just trying to be the shoulder to cry on, the arm to lean on, and in all ways possible, to be there.
Today at church, I broke down. It can happen anywhere and once it starts, it's really hard to stop. Little Man and I drove home as I cried. I looked over at him and apologized for the crying and he said, "That's okay, Crying gets all the sadness out." Isn't he something?
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