my world

It was the Monday after Thanksgiving two years ago.   I was sitting at my desk at school.   The students had just been dismissed and left the building, thank the Lord!      I was exhausted and so happy the day was over.   The days leading up to a school break and after the break are crazy.   Right now I’m looking out my window watching the wind scatter leaves all over the backyard.   It reminds me of what it’s like after a school break, teachers chasing kids all over the classroom.    Just when you think, you have some of the kids settling down to start a lesson, here comes another gust of wind and it starts all over again. Don’t get me wrong, teachers enjoy the breaks, but they do pay a high price for them too. So I’m at my desk and my phone rings.   It was the neurologist. It was the weirdest conversation. He asked, “Is this Michele?”   I said, “Yes.”   He asked me where I was. I answered at school in my classroom.   He asked if there was anyone with me.   No, I was by myself

I had plans to get into the Thanksgiving spirit with so much food and thanks that I wouldn’t have time for an emotional breakdown.  I dodged the tears last night when we pulled into his parents driveway.  We get to see his parents but not mine.  I was able to bite back tears and enjoy the hugs and warm welcomes from family.  So this Thanksgiving morning for the last half hour,  there’s been no stopping the tears.  I’ve been in the bedroom crying my eyes out missing her so much.  Then twirl came into mind, but I don’t want to.  I’ll just sit here and cry, thank you.  Then guilt nudged me up and I twirled.  I’m not sure there was any joy in my twirl. Then I started imagining Mom in heaven singing praises, joyfully twirling, and giving thanks to God.  It occurred to me.  We are celebrating Thanksgiving today, but in heaven it’s Thanksgiving every day.  Life gets in the way for most of us with the exception of Janice LaCount.  God love her,  This might become my favorite holiday, Happy

Last night while reading a blog, l was thinking of Mom.   In the post, this woman had a grade 4 glioblastoma brain tumor. She didn’t have much time left.   She wrote a note that asked her family to post after she passed.   It talked about not enduring life but enjoying every second.   Choose to be happy, grateful and live in the moment.   Mom had a way that even though she was surrounded by unhappiness and negativity.   She chose to keep her spirit high and live full of optimism.   Not to say she didn’t have bad days, who doesn’t? However, she chose to live above her circumstances.   Talk about some strength. Most days I feel happy when I think of her but yesterday I felt sadness.   I wish she didn’t have to fight so hard for something that should have been simple like enjoying life with your loved ones.   She did remove herself from toxic relationships towards the end of her life.   Why couldn’t she do it earlier?   She truly believed she could change the person she loved so