Protective or Paranoid
There's a fine line between protective and paranoid when it comes to your kids. Baby Girl wanted to play with a little girl from school this summer. This girl's mom does not come to school functions so I haven't had the opportunity to get to know her like some other moms. However, her daughter seems nice enough so before the school year ended, I got their phone number.
I called last week and invited the little girl over to swim. I hoped her mom would hang out too so I could get to know her, but no such luck. She dropped her daughter off and left. When I took the little girl home, her and her husband invited Baby Girl to spend the night. I made up some lame excuse and said maybe next time. Baby Girl was furious! The mom said to give her a call and next time the girls could play at her house.
Yesterday, after listening to my daughter beg for hours, I called the mom and set up a play date. I should have stayed and took the opportunity to get to know her but I was suppose to meet Grandma. After only a few minutes and making sure that she had my cell number, I left. Like the great mom that I am, at Grandma's I left my phone in the car. When I made it back to the car, I noticed that I had missed a call from her almost an hour earlier, Yikes. My heart picked up speed as I called her back. It was not an emergency but . . .
She informed me that the girls wanted to go swimming and she was calling to get my approval. Since she couldn't reach me, she went ahead and let the girls go. Okay, here's the kicker. Her 18 year old daughter and a friend took my six year old to a public pool in the city. In shock, I was like "Oh, okay?" and got off the phone with her. Kicking myself for not having my phone on me and freaking out that my daughter is with an 18 year old somewhere in town, I began driving home.
While in route, I called my husband who got onto me for not having my phone but said don't over-react, she's fine. As I got closer to home, I began to panic. I called a couple of friends who said listen to your gut instinct and go get her. So a half a mile from home, I turned the car around and flew into the city as fast as possible.
Husband said that if you let the kids go to some one's house than you must trust their judgment otherwise you don't let them go. There are friends whom I trust and wouldn't think anything about Baby Girl going to town with or without my knowing but for starters, they are NOT 18 years old. I left Baby Girl in the Mom's supervision, not the 18 year old's. We don't even have teenagers, or single people for that matter, watch our kids. If family or close family friends can't babysit, we don't go. And as far as yesterday goes, if the girls were at my house wanting to go here or there and I couldn't reach a parent, the answer would have been NO!
All the way to the pool, I was thinking of the top three things that could go wrong.
1. Car Wreck - I know how I drove at 18.
2. Intentions - What are the teenagers talking about, are they meeting boys? (Once upon a time I had a teenage step sister who I don't keep in touch with now. I would tag along as she went out with friends and boyfriends. Needless to say, I got an earful and eyeful before I was ready)
3. Supervision - Are they watching the girls? Baby Girl is an awesome swimmer so that's not so much my concern as someone taking her. Kids are abducted if not every day at least each week where we live. Our city has the Amber Alert signs on the interstates coming in and out of the city. I don't think of myself as a fearful parent and the kids even play unsupervised out front but regardless it stays in the back of my mind.
I made it to the pool and spotted Baby Girl with friends playing in the shallow end. I walked over and squatted down to talk to her. The scary, wild teenager came forward and politely introduced herself. She was in the pool directly behind the girls. Everything was fine. She appeared very responsible, there weren't any boys or wild friends hanging around and Baby Girl and her friends were having a blast.
I took Baby Girl home with me anyway. She wasn't as upset as I thought she'd be. I called the mom again with a lame excuse of why I had to pick Baby Girl up. I will invite the little girl over to play at my house but for now, will not let her go back over there. At least, not until I get to know her mom. Lesson learned if only for my peace of mind and sanity, my kids will not go to some one's house if I haven't got much passed introduction with the parent.
I texted my best friend last night and said hubby thinks I over-react, ya think? She texted me back and said, "You're a little overprotective and that's ok, I am too! There should be more moms like us." I agree, sister. As a concellation, I let Baby Girl spend the night with Grandma last night. She was happy.
Off the subject, Little Man about talked my ear off last night. The subject turned to a story that he'd seen on the news at Grandma's house. With a serious face, he said a drunk driver hit some people riding their bikes on the elbow of the road. I laughed so hard I couldn't talk for several minutes. After such a stressful afternoon, that was perfect. Not knowing what was so funny, I explained to him it's the shoulder not elbow of the road.
I called last week and invited the little girl over to swim. I hoped her mom would hang out too so I could get to know her, but no such luck. She dropped her daughter off and left. When I took the little girl home, her and her husband invited Baby Girl to spend the night. I made up some lame excuse and said maybe next time. Baby Girl was furious! The mom said to give her a call and next time the girls could play at her house.
Yesterday, after listening to my daughter beg for hours, I called the mom and set up a play date. I should have stayed and took the opportunity to get to know her but I was suppose to meet Grandma. After only a few minutes and making sure that she had my cell number, I left. Like the great mom that I am, at Grandma's I left my phone in the car. When I made it back to the car, I noticed that I had missed a call from her almost an hour earlier, Yikes. My heart picked up speed as I called her back. It was not an emergency but . . .
She informed me that the girls wanted to go swimming and she was calling to get my approval. Since she couldn't reach me, she went ahead and let the girls go. Okay, here's the kicker. Her 18 year old daughter and a friend took my six year old to a public pool in the city. In shock, I was like "Oh, okay?" and got off the phone with her. Kicking myself for not having my phone on me and freaking out that my daughter is with an 18 year old somewhere in town, I began driving home.
While in route, I called my husband who got onto me for not having my phone but said don't over-react, she's fine. As I got closer to home, I began to panic. I called a couple of friends who said listen to your gut instinct and go get her. So a half a mile from home, I turned the car around and flew into the city as fast as possible.
Husband said that if you let the kids go to some one's house than you must trust their judgment otherwise you don't let them go. There are friends whom I trust and wouldn't think anything about Baby Girl going to town with or without my knowing but for starters, they are NOT 18 years old. I left Baby Girl in the Mom's supervision, not the 18 year old's. We don't even have teenagers, or single people for that matter, watch our kids. If family or close family friends can't babysit, we don't go. And as far as yesterday goes, if the girls were at my house wanting to go here or there and I couldn't reach a parent, the answer would have been NO!
All the way to the pool, I was thinking of the top three things that could go wrong.
1. Car Wreck - I know how I drove at 18.
2. Intentions - What are the teenagers talking about, are they meeting boys? (Once upon a time I had a teenage step sister who I don't keep in touch with now. I would tag along as she went out with friends and boyfriends. Needless to say, I got an earful and eyeful before I was ready)
3. Supervision - Are they watching the girls? Baby Girl is an awesome swimmer so that's not so much my concern as someone taking her. Kids are abducted if not every day at least each week where we live. Our city has the Amber Alert signs on the interstates coming in and out of the city. I don't think of myself as a fearful parent and the kids even play unsupervised out front but regardless it stays in the back of my mind.
I made it to the pool and spotted Baby Girl with friends playing in the shallow end. I walked over and squatted down to talk to her. The scary, wild teenager came forward and politely introduced herself. She was in the pool directly behind the girls. Everything was fine. She appeared very responsible, there weren't any boys or wild friends hanging around and Baby Girl and her friends were having a blast.
I took Baby Girl home with me anyway. She wasn't as upset as I thought she'd be. I called the mom again with a lame excuse of why I had to pick Baby Girl up. I will invite the little girl over to play at my house but for now, will not let her go back over there. At least, not until I get to know her mom. Lesson learned if only for my peace of mind and sanity, my kids will not go to some one's house if I haven't got much passed introduction with the parent.
I texted my best friend last night and said hubby thinks I over-react, ya think? She texted me back and said, "You're a little overprotective and that's ok, I am too! There should be more moms like us." I agree, sister. As a concellation, I let Baby Girl spend the night with Grandma last night. She was happy.
Off the subject, Little Man about talked my ear off last night. The subject turned to a story that he'd seen on the news at Grandma's house. With a serious face, he said a drunk driver hit some people riding their bikes on the elbow of the road. I laughed so hard I couldn't talk for several minutes. After such a stressful afternoon, that was perfect. Not knowing what was so funny, I explained to him it's the shoulder not elbow of the road.
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