In Hospital

She was admitted to the hospital yesterday morning. Basically, we went to the treatment center yesterday morning to get PICC line flushed, weekly thing. On the other side of the treatment room away from mom, I had a break down moment saying the upcoming weekend scares me to death, it's like the night 3 times over, you just feel all alone. Mom's' fever was 102.6 and they were ready to send us on our way. I said that I wanted a doctor to check her over and tell me she's okay, and then I would take her to radiation and then home. I just couldn't handle the responsibility of something happening that I failed to notice type thing. Anyway, mom's onc nurse came over obviously annoyed and said that mom would be seen by one of the other doctors. That doctor's nurse (really nice, I might add) came helped us to the room and took down a bunch of information. She really listened to us, it was nice for a change. The new onc doctor came in (again, really nice, like a fresh start b/c I've wore out my welcome with others) checked Mom over and again took the time to listen to us. She gently recommended admitting her to the hospital. Mom's hemoglobin was 8.6. She said that a blood transfusion happens at 8.0. Anyway, she made the arrangements so Mom would not have to wait, that she would be admitted through ER, and go straight back an they'll give her pain med immediatley. In the ER after they gave her pain med and her eyes were slapping shut, I told Mom it was okay to go to sleep, and she said that she was too scared to sleep that she might not wake up. totally heartbreaking. It was a long day full of tests and what not. She got in a room around 1:00. The doctor on that floor came in and said so far everything's checking out okay. That urine looks good, x-ray (not sure what machine took pics) but looks good, etc.. She said that some blood work takes 24 hours so they'll wait and see how it comes back, but so far everything looks fine all things considered. Dad said let's leave her here and let them take care of her and go home and sleep. She's still going to the bathroom every 20 minutes peeing b/c the fluids they're giving her and diarrhea all the while very heavily medicated and dragging an iv pole. He says that I've got to get some sleep, which I know but there's no other option. Leaving her in the hospital by herself is not an option. When you call for a nurse, it takes 10 to 20 minutes and mom can't wait that long and she needs someone familiar there 24/7. While I know that he's concerned about me, I was mad with that suggestion to say the least. I called my friend (who I'd trust with my life) came up and stayed with mom through the night. I went to Mom's house and gathered things I thought she might want along with a bouquet of flowers, and my husband volunteered to take them back to her if I'd go straight home and go to bed. My new neighbor and friend who came last weekend to help me clean mom's bathroom, went to the hospital this morning to relieve other friend and she'll stay until 12:00. Mom's friend is going to stay 12:00 to 8:00. Thank God for friends. I slept last night and am about to get ready, pick up a few more things for mom, and go up there for a while.

Just got a call from friend and she said doc came in and said they Mom will need some red blood cells, not sure if that's a blood transfusion or what. Also, they were scared about the PICC line because Mom told them it's been in since March 9. I told friend that it's been in since May 9th and that we've had it flushed every week at treatment center and have had no problems with it. They were freak'in out b/c PICC lines can only be in for 3 months. I told friend to call me if doc/nurses have questions, because Mom can't answer them b/c the drugs. Doc says everything else is okay.

Everyone, please keep praying. I know that God is getting us through this and that your prayers are making a difference. Anyone who is close to us and wants to help, please let me know. I realize now that this job is bigger than me. Mom deserves the best care possible and me half dead from no sleep is not the best for her.


Oh, something funny. Yesterday mom said that this place (hospital) scares her. Every other time she's been there, she's left with a baby.

The other night at home, I was laying in bed with Mom. She was passed out from the drugs and mumbled something. I asked what she had said. She said, "Oh, I don't know. I was just dreaming that I worked at McDonald's and was making a sausage/egg mcmuffin." We both laughed. I said that we'd need to discuss new pain meds with doc, that dreaming about McDonald's was unacceptable. Dreams she be of nothing less than beaches in Puerta Vallarta and such.