rambling
Pardon the rambling, but I'm in a mood. We're on the road with over 600 miles to our destination, kids fighting in the back seat. There's no telling where this post will end up or who it might offend. So, proceed with caution.
The night Mom was released from the hospital, I went home to an empty house (kids n hubby went to CO). I decided to invite the Fabulous Who Ha Sisters over for drinks, swimming and fun (pretty much in that order) Everyone showed and the celebration began. One of the sisters, I believe was well on her way to Margaritaville before our first toast. Another sister came late with her hubby, so she had some catching up to do. The other sister's husband ran to the store to get an assortment of chick drinks in honor of as he put it the "Who Ha Whatever" and volunteered to be the bartender. Long story short, we all swam, drank, laughed, drank, swam again then drank more. . . some a liitle more than others. The bartender passed out as I expelled both liquor and gas simultaneously off the patio. One of the sisters still tease me as being a multi-tasker. The next morning I cleaned up the mess, dropped donuts (my hangover cure-all) off at the neighbor sister's house and went to check on Mom.
The week of the 4th, I took the kids plus Little Man's Best Friend, and a friend's two stepdaughters out and about. The two teenage girls were visiting their dad who they hadn't seen in 8 years. My friend, their stepmom brought the girls and Little Man's Best Friend to the house to swim. She asked if I'd watch them while she went home to mow. As we sat around talking, the girls said they were bored just sitting at the house watching movies. Their dad was out of town for work and my friend, their stepmom also had to work. Hubby and I told the girls they were more than welcome to hang out with us. We had so much fun with the girls. We watched fireworks, swam in the pool, ate at great restaurants including Los Cabos, Carrino's, and of course McDonald's. We rode the atv's below the dam, ate breakfast at IHOP, and hit the mall. All the while, I called their daddy to see if they would come join us, they mostly declined. As the week wore on, I grew closer and closer with the girls esp the oldest (anyone would have, they are such good kids). Unfortunately, my friend (stepmom) felt I overstep my bounds and ruined their time to connect as a family. As far as boundaries go, our families have always been so close, we never had lines or boundaries drawn. My husband has been friends (even self proclaimed brothers)with her husband for over 20 years. They've been there for each other through just about all that life can throw at you including the norm such as marriage, divorce, and fatherhood. We were there and closer than ever, when his second wife became sick and died. Our kids are together all the time, pretty much have raised them as siblings. He and his parents moved around the corner from us, the kids attend the same school. Last summer, I introduced him to my dear friend who became his wife and a part of our family. In establishing her new life with them, she is drawing lines and forming boundaries that have never been there.
After the girls left, she came to the house to talk. In essence, she blamed me for things not panning out the way she had hoped. She wanted to connect as a family and steer clear of any appearance of "Disneyland" as she said my dad did when I was a child spending summers in TN. I can't lie, I felt attacked and it hurt. I understand as a new wife and mother, the need to get it right at all costs. I was there once too. I remember being pregnant with Little Man at the grocery store shopping with Nana vowing my child would never act like the screaming fit throwing toddler in the cereal aisle. I also read the awful book Baby Wise and attempted to subject my newborn baby boy to their rigid discipline, schedule, and boundaries in hopes of achieving the story book happy ever after ending. Oh, I also layed down the rules for my husband to follow to make sure he's on board to never ever land. He played the game like a pro for the first few weeks. Haven't we all been there thinking our life, marriage, kids would be different than all others definitely better than our parents who lets face it didn't have a clue. While I know, everyone takes their shot at the american dream of having the perfect christian family with the husband, wife, 2.5 kids and white picket fence, most will realize life just doesn't work out as we plan. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be happier with our life even though the screaming kids in walmart are probably mine, my husband and I will have our arguments and the occasional loud obnoxious fight over everything and nothing, my friends and I might get tipsy and sometimes even stupid drunk on Saturday night and Sunday morning you might find me at church or buried under the covers in my bed. In my neck of the woods, you might catch us at our best or at times at our worst, either way we're there for one another not judging just walking it out together. We should probably go on the Dr. Phil show, huh.
Friends don't always see eye to eye, but our families have always been close. I hope that doesn't change.
The night Mom was released from the hospital, I went home to an empty house (kids n hubby went to CO). I decided to invite the Fabulous Who Ha Sisters over for drinks, swimming and fun (pretty much in that order) Everyone showed and the celebration began. One of the sisters, I believe was well on her way to Margaritaville before our first toast. Another sister came late with her hubby, so she had some catching up to do. The other sister's husband ran to the store to get an assortment of chick drinks in honor of as he put it the "Who Ha Whatever" and volunteered to be the bartender. Long story short, we all swam, drank, laughed, drank, swam again then drank more. . . some a liitle more than others. The bartender passed out as I expelled both liquor and gas simultaneously off the patio. One of the sisters still tease me as being a multi-tasker. The next morning I cleaned up the mess, dropped donuts (my hangover cure-all) off at the neighbor sister's house and went to check on Mom.
The week of the 4th, I took the kids plus Little Man's Best Friend, and a friend's two stepdaughters out and about. The two teenage girls were visiting their dad who they hadn't seen in 8 years. My friend, their stepmom brought the girls and Little Man's Best Friend to the house to swim. She asked if I'd watch them while she went home to mow. As we sat around talking, the girls said they were bored just sitting at the house watching movies. Their dad was out of town for work and my friend, their stepmom also had to work. Hubby and I told the girls they were more than welcome to hang out with us. We had so much fun with the girls. We watched fireworks, swam in the pool, ate at great restaurants including Los Cabos, Carrino's, and of course McDonald's. We rode the atv's below the dam, ate breakfast at IHOP, and hit the mall. All the while, I called their daddy to see if they would come join us, they mostly declined. As the week wore on, I grew closer and closer with the girls esp the oldest (anyone would have, they are such good kids). Unfortunately, my friend (stepmom) felt I overstep my bounds and ruined their time to connect as a family. As far as boundaries go, our families have always been so close, we never had lines or boundaries drawn. My husband has been friends (even self proclaimed brothers)with her husband for over 20 years. They've been there for each other through just about all that life can throw at you including the norm such as marriage, divorce, and fatherhood. We were there and closer than ever, when his second wife became sick and died. Our kids are together all the time, pretty much have raised them as siblings. He and his parents moved around the corner from us, the kids attend the same school. Last summer, I introduced him to my dear friend who became his wife and a part of our family. In establishing her new life with them, she is drawing lines and forming boundaries that have never been there.
After the girls left, she came to the house to talk. In essence, she blamed me for things not panning out the way she had hoped. She wanted to connect as a family and steer clear of any appearance of "Disneyland" as she said my dad did when I was a child spending summers in TN. I can't lie, I felt attacked and it hurt. I understand as a new wife and mother, the need to get it right at all costs. I was there once too. I remember being pregnant with Little Man at the grocery store shopping with Nana vowing my child would never act like the screaming fit throwing toddler in the cereal aisle. I also read the awful book Baby Wise and attempted to subject my newborn baby boy to their rigid discipline, schedule, and boundaries in hopes of achieving the story book happy ever after ending. Oh, I also layed down the rules for my husband to follow to make sure he's on board to never ever land. He played the game like a pro for the first few weeks. Haven't we all been there thinking our life, marriage, kids would be different than all others definitely better than our parents who lets face it didn't have a clue. While I know, everyone takes their shot at the american dream of having the perfect christian family with the husband, wife, 2.5 kids and white picket fence, most will realize life just doesn't work out as we plan. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be happier with our life even though the screaming kids in walmart are probably mine, my husband and I will have our arguments and the occasional loud obnoxious fight over everything and nothing, my friends and I might get tipsy and sometimes even stupid drunk on Saturday night and Sunday morning you might find me at church or buried under the covers in my bed. In my neck of the woods, you might catch us at our best or at times at our worst, either way we're there for one another not judging just walking it out together. We should probably go on the Dr. Phil show, huh.
Friends don't always see eye to eye, but our families have always been close. I hope that doesn't change.
Comments
You and hubby are such a great pair and I've heard the magical story of your beginning. Trust your instincts, woman, because they are good and solid and have a solid foundation behind them. You are kind, generous, instintive, beautiful, and know what you did was a good thing. Those girls will remember you for it.